Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us. – Winston Churchill.
I woke up rushing to prep, with uneasy tension, my head still spinning after getting out of bed rapidly, and I honestly do not know where to head first earlier. I pulled the door open, trying not to wake my sister and then our cutie lil pooch, Bubbles tried to sneak in and dashed on my sister’s bed and laid beside her. I let the two of them be, and I readied myself for work. Same old routine. Just late.
Friend: you are right and wrong at the same time. lol. first. yes. you are correct. not everyone will understand. and yes. we are all responsible for all our action. dun magiging mali yung mga susunod na statement mo. YOU ARE NOT YOUR DISORDER. Yes. your mind can get undesirably undesirable sometimes pero that does not mean na tama lahat ng yun. like what i’ve said before: acknowledge and let go. you are in control. you are not your disorder. you’re condition is real and is not just an excuse pero that does not mean you can’t do anything. you can do something
Albeit short, life gives us a pretty whopping crap of setbacks and all the loads of shits we sometimes can’t handle. Excuse me for the uncomfy terms, but true story.
It doesn’t just let us easily carpe the diem, it doesn’t just go along with us merrily, it does not stop giving us reasons to complain, to curse the skies, to slam the doors shut, to wail in agony. And the irony of it is our being labeled as “humans” can’t be used as an excuse for us to exactly do these kind of release.
It’s always been the way how it was lately; me meeting friends from time to time, but still ending up on a coffee shop alone with my headphones, book, and my love through the screens. Sometimes when she has work, I’ll be alone and try to kill the time.
It’s these times when a mixture of emotions surge through me. I enjoy my company, but I feel melancholy for not having someone, not having her.
I know it’s way harder for her staying overseas to work, and who am I to complain, right? But the rain always reminds me of always trying to get by through a sad storm in my life without her here.
The sight of you crying makes my heart ache.
But I am much privileged to be asked by you to stay for a little while.
I love you.
And being hurt and going through shitty times are inevitable, and I might not be able to hold your hand physically, but I will always stay with you. And wait til you feel better. You can always find the “besh” in me, just so you know.